Cinderella... review

This musically-driven new take on the traditional fairy-tale we all grew up watching has been dealing with a very mixed bag of opinions the past few weeks, and rightly so. This movie falls into a strange place, trying its very hardest to be modern and relevant, but with dreadful dialogue and a mismatched cast that will leave you unbelievably confused. James Corden is also in it so, I watched it so you don't have to, thank me later.

⭐

Let's start with the positives, not that there actually is many. But, the ensemble are great in this film. The energy they bring to every group number is amazing, and saves the film in my opinion. The best moments are the moments that the dancers and extras are involved in, in particular the final big dance number - Let's get loud. The choreography in this movie is very mixed, it seemed as though they tried when they knew the payoff would be worth it, meaning the big group numbers, but just allowed Camilla Cabello to run around her basement looking exasperated for half of her solos, but more on that later. The costumes are also really fun in this movie, they're nothing mind-blowing or original, but it did add to the whole fairytale aspect they were going for which was definitely appreciated. They suited the scenes perfectly, they defined the plot really well, especially when differentiating between the townspeople and the royals. The songs were fun, but do we really need another jukebox musical recycling the same 10 cringe pop tracks that are going to keep the parents entertained? They are catchy mind, I can't tell if I loved the opening number or if it has been used that much on TikTok that I have become immune to the sound.

That's about all that I enjoyed about this movie. This movie gives Panto, and not in a good way. The expressions and mannerisms are cringeworthy, being so elaborate and over the top that it feels like a parody of a musical. This is most clearly seen in anything Camilla Cabello does - especially her solo numbers. I am completely aware that she is not an actor, and this movie was never going to be up for Best Picture, but why? Why was she flailing around in her basement for half of the movie? Why didn't they give her direction? Why the constant shifts between her "powerful woman" persona? Why, was she a dressmaker and a dressmaker only for half of the film, and a "I can't wait to marry a boy" for the other? I completely commend this movie for trying to adapt this sexist fairytale into something that is more positive and equal, but, be consistent. Are women really still falling in love for the white boy at the ball because he has money? I don't think so. And yes, the film was commenting on how out of date this is, and for a younger audience who had maybe never seen any of the other adaptations this might have worked, but I felt like it was absolutely performative.

On one hand, we have Fabulous Godmother played by Billy Porter who is pushing the incredible ideas of gender fluidity and neutrality of his character creating a much more inclusive representation of this role, and yet on the other, we still have women playing the secondary oppressed role in society. Are we not bored of that narrative yet? I am. It would have been amazing to see the filmmakers completely flip this story, creating such a new and modern take on women's roles within society, but no, place a flamboyant magical fairy in the garden and have them say "Yaas, future Queen, yaaaas" (which is incredibly cringe and feels really uncomfortable to listen to) and have a "girl boss" Cinderella, who still ends up with the prince even if she does still achieve her dreams.

The songs are also dreadful. They are not only performed very strangely, but they also feel really misplaced and awkward. Imagine a playlist with Rhythm Nation by Janet Jackson, Somebody to Love by Queen, Am I Wrong? by Nico and Vinz and Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes. It is so unusual and weird. They also aren't sang the best - when are we going to start casting performers in these roles instead of famous names just because they will attract an audience? The songs are also weirdly placed within the storyline. I am aware that musicals have the aspect of spontaneity, but this is on another level, and it is even worse when the songs hold no relevance to the plot. Don't expect the CGI to be anything worthy of excitement either, the three mice is some of the worst CGI I have seen in years. They are robotic and look drawn, it is such an unusual visual experience, especially having to witness James Corden as a half-human half-mouse fusion. It was weird.

The acting is outrageously cringe, some of the worst I have seen in a while. It is such a mismatch of "actors", ranging from Camilla Cabello to James Acaster. Please make it make sense because I still fully haven't understood what they were thinking. The dialogue is shocking, and at times weirdly really uncomfortably inappropriate and making for some quite distasteful comments for a children's movie.

This movie serves School Show. A group of teenage schoolchildren could and most definitely have done a better job in the end of year productions. A note for future filmmakers who are wanting to adapt more fairytales to more progressive stories; please hire actors and not singers, stop casting James Corden in everything and actually do something original with the story, don't just change her job role and call it a day and pretend you have made waves in the feminist movement.

I watched this film so you didn't have to, but if you think I have been overly critical, give it a watch and you will understand exactly where I am coming from. This movie is weird, and an absolute waste of 2 hours.

If you have already seen this film and suffered with me, what are your opinions? Did you think it was better than what I thought, or worse?